Giving a gift that is just right is really a fairly simple process that involves three steps: the research, the shopping and the presentation. The more time you allow yourself, the more likely you are to be successful...without last minute stress!

• Research and Planning
  Read what other adoptive parents have taken as gifts. (perhaps a link here, Anna) Keep a file on the people who might be on your gift list. Note any interests, hobbies and other personal information that arise in emails with your facilitator or conversations from other parents who used that particular facilitator, what other parents said the NAC or orphanage directors appreciated -- anything that may be a source of inspiration.

• Budgeting
  Consider your budget, your position, your relationship to the people helping you in Ukraine and the acceptable price range.

• Presentation
  Always wrap a gift before giving it, but do not wrap it until you arrive in Ukraine. Take some gift bags or wrapping paper with you. You will have to show these gifts when you go through customs and you do not want to unwrap, then rewrap 20 gifts! But once you reach your destination hotel, fix your gifts - either by wrapping them or putting them in nice gift bags with tissue paper. Not wrapping a present implies carelessness and an uncaring attitude. It undermines the impact of your gift. In selecting the wrapping, consider the recipient just as you did in buying the gift. Remember to enclose a gift card with a personal comment and your signature.

  Many parents have had success by taking an assortment of gift bags. These are not found easily in Ukraine, so the gift bags can create almost as much excitement as the gifts themselves. A very small gift such as a couple of pairs of socks or pantihose can look really special in a colorful gift bag.

  Unless you are attending a celebration at which everyone else is giving gifts too, give your gift in private. Singling the person out with a gift in front of others can be embarrassing to the recipient and to the people who neglected to give a gift. When giving a gift, don't insist the person open it immediately; the person might prefer to open it in private when they don't have to worry about making the appropriate responses. Don't disparage the gift with remarks like "Oh, it's nothing!" because the recipient might believe you.

• Receiving Gifts
  Even though the current economic situation in Ukraine doesn't allow most Ukrainians much extra spending money, you're likely to receive some small gifts in exchange. Always accept a gift gracefully, regardless of how you feel about the gift or the giver. A simple 'thank you' is always an appropriate expression of appreciation. Never diminish the giver's generosity with a statement like 'you shouldn't have' even if you wish they hadn't. How would you feel if someone did that to you after you had invested your time, effort and money?

  - Carolyn